“Adulting” is a silly but catchy term that means engaging in the behaviors of a responsible adult (holding down a job, making monthly payments, and overall physical self-care). The “Urban Dictionary” includes the following: “…responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals.” From this perspective adulting basically means maturity. Continue reading
Tag Archives: Adult Development
A Hiring Paradox for Leaders: Shamans Instead of Witch-Doctors
The hardest part of leadership is developing the so-called “soft skills.” That is the message we get from such diverse sources as Adam Grant (Give and Take), Amy Edmondson (Teaming), and Andy Grove’s classic for managers who have difficulty with the soft-side of leadership, High Output Management. Who has the time?!? Continue reading
Procrastination Works (Which is the Problem)
We All Procrastinate for the Same Reason: Willpower Just Isn’t Enough
Part of my “Fight/Flight/Freeze” series on brain & behavior. Freeze = Procrastination.
I write about things like spectrums as a metaphor and the balance of forces in terms of polarities. But here, I want to discuss something that affects all of us: procrastination. The problem as I see it is this: procrastination is a problem because it works so well. The relief you feel while procrastinating is not unlike the relief that you’ve dodged a bullet. Even if you know that eventually you’ll have to pay (somehow), that taste of this relief is irresistible. Continue reading
What to Do When the World is Falling Apart
What Should We Do? What Can We Do? What Will We Do?
The world is grappling with invisible conflicts. Conflicting messages from global leaders about the novel coronavirus pandemic; disturbing videos of police brutality that conflict with official reports; and conflicting protocols about returning to whatever the “new normal” will be. This is the state of our world, here at the midpoint of 2020. The only clarity available to most people around the world right now is this – the structures that you have been relying upon (for better or for worse) are no longer recognizable. Continue reading
Find Your Voice Using the Spectrum of Assertive Speaking
Speaking Up
Spectrums are common in nature, of light, of consciousness, and of political views. But I have yet to come across a spectrum of assertive speaking. Here, I use the notion of a spectrum to showcase an effective coaching process for people who want to speak up for themselves more at work, or to delegate more, or to stand up for themselves in general. Continue reading
The Spectrum of Mindfulness Practices
Paying Attention
Mindfulness is about paying attention, as experts both East and West will tell you. Another way of looking at this is: Mindfulness isn’t free – you PAY attention. Is the opportunity cost worth it? In most cases it is worth it. If you are depressed, you should not engage in mindfulness practices; but for everyone else, mindfulness appears to have enormous benefits. Continue reading
Integral Bypassing 2
Integral Bypassing is when you falsely believe that you are “2nd Tier” because you have read the books of Ken Wilber or of other integral authors. One easily risks arrested development when engaged in Integral Bypassing, as Wilber discovered when he began getting letters and other forms of feedback (see “One Taste”) that revealed a number of his readers falsely believed that they didn’t need a practice because they were simply reading his books. This was a hope beyond hope; it literally flew in the face of what he was writing about – practice, practice, practice!
With the Integral Theory conference coming up, I thought I would try to participate from afar by tilling some soil to help anyone who shares my perspectives on walking our talk about levels of development. Continue reading