“Adulting” is a silly but catchy term that means engaging in the behaviors of a responsible adult (holding down a job, making monthly payments, and overall physical self-care). The “Urban Dictionary” includes the following: “…responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals.” From this perspective adulting basically means maturity. Continue reading
You already know about the marshmallow experiment, but have you considered that you are part of an even bigger experiment? The “meditation experiment” has been going on for thousands of years in the East, and hundreds (if not thousands) of years in the West. It really took off in the West when the more evolved technologies of the East made their way to the shores of California throughout the 20th century. And just like the toddlers in the marshmallow experiment, most adults cannot maintain a regular meditation schedule. Myself included. Continue reading
We All Procrastinate for the Same Reason: Willpower Just Isn’t Enough
Part of my “Fight/Flight/Freeze” series on brain & behavior. Freeze = Procrastination.
I write about things like spectrums as a metaphor and the balance of forces in terms of polarities. But here, I want to discuss something that affects all of us: procrastination. The problem as I see it is this: procrastination is a problem because it works so well. The relief you feel while procrastinating is not unlike the relief that you’ve dodged a bullet. Even if you know that eventually you’ll have to pay (somehow), that taste of this relief is irresistible. Continue reading
What Should We Do? What Can We Do? What Will We Do?
The world is grappling with invisible conflicts. Conflicting messages from global leaders about the novel coronavirus pandemic; disturbing videos of police brutality that conflict with official reports; and conflicting protocols about returning to whatever the “new normal” will be. This is the state of our world, here at the midpoint of 2020. The only clarity available to most people around the world right now is this – the structures that you have been relying upon (for better or for worse) are no longer recognizable. Continue reading
Spectrums are often used to demonstrate a continuum of change. Here, I will demonstrate how you can create more trust by developing the listening skills of world class networkers and beloved influencers. This effective process has been used by elite coaches to assist clients in the gradual growth of powerful and efficient listening skills. Continue reading
Spectrums are common in nature, of light, of consciousness, and of political views. But I have yet to come across a spectrum of assertive speaking. Here, I use the notion of a spectrum to showcase an effective coaching process for people who want to speak up for themselves more at work, or to delegate more, or to stand up for themselves in general. Continue reading
Mindfulness is about paying attention, as experts both East and West will tell you. Another way of looking at this is: Mindfulness isn’t free – you PAY attention. Is the opportunity cost worth it? In most cases it is worth it. If you are depressed, you should not engage in mindfulness practices; but for everyone else, mindfulness appears to have enormous benefits. Continue reading
As the car I was in began to spin, hydroplaning along the gentle curve of the road, I could hear myself saying, “Oh god oh god oh NO!” I had been in just one car accident before, in the back of a taxi, but that was a quick t-bone strike at low speeds with a single 360 degree spin. This was different, a fast-moving car on a four-lane highway spinning several times before hitting a few walls and deploying airbags. After making sure I was alive and well, waiting for the police to finish with the driver and the towing company, I realized I had a unique opportunity to run an experiment: I would deny my body the “opportunity” to create a new lesson for me.